Hold On

In the still of the night
As the heat settles and darkness takes over, she dials his phone
The space in her chest racing
Her hands shaking as she hears the sound of the phone ringing
She hesitates for a bit
Maybe she should hang up
Or maybe she should just say something else
But this needs to be said
He had to know that despite what they have, she wants an end
An end to hiding and sneaking
Late nights and early mornings
She just wants it all gone
“Hello”? He says
She answers softly, but really wants to just cry out for him to hold herĀ 
She wants him with her
Right there in that very minute
She wants him
But their situations calls for separate beds and Separate lives
She swallowed her saliva before speaking
There’s a feeling in her stomach that some called intuition
Instead of her regular chatty voice she says “Hold on” in a way that is unfamiliar to even her
She pushes her work away, wipes her eyes and commence talking to him
Tonight she wants to tell him to let go
But his presence and voice changed everything
Tonight, his voice reminded her to just hold on
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If You Fall

Don’t fall for the way I look after spending hours to get ready

Hair done,

Nails done,

Make up done to perfection-

Oh baby! I’m TV ready

Can my selfie say Amen?

If you’re going to Fall in love with me,

Fall for my real body

The way it slightly widens around the hips

The way my flat stomach is deceiving cuz junk food is my weakness

Fall in love with those dark spots that appear after my concealer wipes off

Fall for my hands that are not very lady-like

Fall for my impatience, my jealousy, my moods and those times when I feel nothing at all

Fall for the little child in me

And of course the grown woman I can be

Fall for my scars- the one on my thighs that everyone seem to skip over

Notice and admire those weird imperfections that stands out on my body

The random tattoos in places that was hidden from my mother

The marks from piercings I got at 16

Fall in love with my now bald head

The rough and almost hard to handle texture of my hair

Love the gap on the upper left row of my front teeth

The space left behind from years of my unhealthy candy obsession

Fall in love with all the things that make me far from perfect

Love ALL of me- good and not so good

When I’m counting my flaws,

Point out your “awwwws”

Because if you’re ever going to Fall in love, do it for ALL of this

or don’t fall at ALL

photocred: Jolie Lune Photography- BostonĀ